2011 Afghanistan.
Its 0500 and I am sat at a desk. I am pretty sure my eyes are bloodshot and I am definitely finding it hard to focus. I am also having a strange sene of deja vu. At least I thought I was. Apparently I'm not. Deja vu (already-seen) is, actually, the phrase used to describe an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all. That's not it at all. Unfortunately I am all too familiar with this situation. It happens every other day. It's definitely not jamais-vu (never-seen), which is the psychological sensation of never having done something that is very familiar. I would probably welcome that. I was hoping it was presque-vu (almost-seen) which is the sensation of being on the brink of an epiphany. Reportedly, this is often very disorienting and distracting, rarely leading to an actual breakthrough. I am definitely disoriented, completely distracted and writing this blog instead of preparing a brief for my boss to deliver to the General is definitely not going to lead to an epiphany. Perhaps a court martial.
What's the point I hear you ask? If I don't hear you ask, I will definitely ask it myself. What's the point? I just seem to be repeating the same actions on a daily basis. The whole ISAF headquarters operation here seems to churn out the same presentations, the same briefs, day after day with an increasing monotony. The first five hours of my day on this shift consist mainly of cutting and pasting todays numbers and operations into yesterdays format. Please don't get me wrong. I don't disagree with the mission that we have here. I don't believe the aim is worthless. In fact I believe if we actually want this to work we will have to increase our commitment with more resources, more money, more people. I don't think we will, but that's what is needed to complete the job. I also don't doubt that my role, in its own little way, is important. Not as important as many others I admit, but nonetheless important.
By the same standard no one should doubt the bravery of our soldiers, who carry out their patrols in the searing heat, in constant danger with little to look forward to except more of the same the next day, the next week, the next month. No one can deny the tactical success this achieves at a local level, despite the cost in blood, sweat and tears. I do question whether this sacrifice will be enough to secure within three years the wider strategic goal of stabilising Afghanistan to the point where the Afghan authorities can govern the country without outside intervention. We tried it in the nineteenth century, the Soviets tried it in the 1980s and now in the 21st century we are back, along with the rest of the Coalition trying it again. Just over a year ago, the then Foreign Secretary, David Miliband, asked a couple of Afghan ministers how long Afghan government authorities would stay on in Helmand after Western forces left. The expected answer was "decades" or even "forever". The actual answer was "Twenty-four hours".
I think I am having a strange sense of deja vu.
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